Grev (ilgreven) wrote,
Grev
ilgreven

Urgent Memo Leaked!...

...so, BREAKING NEWS!

PRESIDENT OBAMA TO ENFORCE MARTIAL LAW, CONFISCATE GUNS, THROUGH GUISE OF APRIL FOOL'S JOKE
WASHINGTON (The Blaze): President Barack Obama is scheduled to hold a press conference on Monday where he will tell the media that he plans to put the country under martial law and has ordered the Secret Service and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms to go door-to-door and confiscate any firearms they find.  He is scheduled to do so in a sarcastic, mocking tone to indicate that the announcement is clearly an April Fool's Day joke.
However, a memo leaked to The Blaze tells us the announcement is very real.
"The memo dictates the times, places, and manner of searches that will begin immediately upon the conclusion of the press announcement," said Willard Heatherby, a member of the Heritage Foundation and contributor to The Blaze, after a thorough 5-minute scan of the 15-page memorandum.  "BATF officers are dispersing to locations like Castle Rock, Maine, Agrestic, California, and Springfield, (no state given), at this very moment, waiting for the President to give his falsely sarcastic word."
The anonymous whistleblower added his own comments: "Clearly this memo is the real deal, and is certainly not consistent with an April Fool's joke. The Secret Service will be coming to Port Charles, New York and Grover's Corners, New Hampshire, to confiscate all your legal weapons. If you are a citizen of Mayberry, North Carolina, South Park, Colorado, or Clanton, Mississippi, prepare yourselves."
A full list of cities and towns to be raided can be found at TheBlaze.com.
Tags: news, satire
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